


Side Effects May Vary

by wishfulthinkment



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 02:18:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2007276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulthinkment/pseuds/wishfulthinkment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the ship to Neverland, Snow is experiencing some side effects of the potion given to her by Gold. She shares a disturbing dream with Regina, and some truths come to light. A (conservatively rated) two-shot. Expect Swan Queen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is me (Writer-Monkey-Esq) moving my stuff over from FFN. You can also find me on tumblr (wishful-thinkment).
> 
> A one(two?)-shot based on the magic eye-drop thing. I write a more sympathetic Snow than is canon.
> 
> I don't own any of the Once things.

Snow awoke with a start.  Her breathing began to ease as she reoriented herself.

_The rocking of the ship._

_The creaking of the timbers._

_The lapping of the water._

...She was still in the bed that she'd fallen asleep in.

Snow had had nightmares before, yes – she'd even been to the burning red room.

She'd never experienced anything like that.

It had been horrific. More memory than nightmare.

But it was not her memory, and it was not her nightmare.

She had been in one of the bedchambers of her old castle.  

Her father had been there, above her.

_She had been prey. He had been the predator._

Snow screwed her eyes tightly shut, trying to banish the vestiges of that image from the recesses of her mind.

The scenario of the nightmare was shocking, wholly unexpected. It would haunt her for years to come.

_...Regina_

She buried her head in her hands, a dry sob doubling her over like a blow to the stomach at the sudden realisation.

_The memory was Regina's._

Beside her, Charming mumbled and rolled over, reaching for her.

Snow pulled away from his touch and eased herself out of the bed that they shared, anxious not to wake him.

He would ask her what the matter was, and she could not tell him.

Her bare feet padded on the smooth wooden floor, and she pushed open the door and stepped out into the moonlight.

The deck of the Jolly Roger was still, all hands sleeping below deck.

But the lone figure at the prow of the ship was not a hand.

_…She had been a Queen._

In hindsight, Snow probably should have put greater thought into deciding whether or not to approach her, but by the time it occurred to her to think it was too late.

"Can't sleep?" The air between them echoes with the silence. "You... you had a nightmare."

Regina's shoulders rose and fell in a smooth rhythm; deep breaths intended to calm herself.

The younger woman reached out a hand to touch in comfort, but thought better of it and instead sat down beside her, careful to keep a little distant between the two of them.

"Before, when you had been, well..." Snow couldn't quite bring herself to voice the word 'torture'. "Gold gave us something to help find you. It seems to have had a lasting effect…"

From the corner of her eye she can see Regina's head tilt towards her.

Not enough to look at her, but enough to show that she was listening.

"Like?"

"I had a dream…" Snow clears her throat awkwardly, "...actually, it was more like a memory. My father was there…"

She allows her voice to trail off – there was no need to rehash the gruesome details.

The woman beside her noticeably stiffens, and Snow cringes internally on her behalf.

Snow isn't quite sure what Regina is waiting for, what shoe she expects to drop -- does this anxiety arise from the dream's beginnings? …or from its end?

"My father was there… but then Emma came charging in. To save you."

For a moment, Regina's only response is a short, sharp exhalation –- an almost-sob.

"She did." Her back straightens for a moment, and her eyes close, "…She _has_. Every night since the wraith."

The realization that strikes Snow then isn't excruciating.

…It's warm.

Gradual.

Gentle.

She recalls the flash of emotion she felt moments before waking.

The explosion of relief that erupted in her chest upon seeing her daughter kicking down the door.

"…You love her."

And everything makes sense.

It's a curious thing, this realization. She supposes that – once upon a time – it may have shocked her, she might even have thought it impossible, an illusion, a trick.

But here and now, seated at the prow of a pirate ship, it melts her a little. The smile that curls her lips is soft, as is the light in her eyes.

Snow takes in the woman beside her, and what she sees is not a little heartbreaking.

This love is edged with sorrow, trimmed with fear and dread. Gone is the confidence and hope of yesteryear. This love is filled with trepidation instead.

Her heart clenching in her chest, Snow places her hand – palm up – out into the space between them both.

Staring out into space, Regina slowly places her hand within that of her sometime nemesis.

And while her face is stolid, as though she would ignore what her hand is doing, her grip is tight.  Desperate.

 _"…How could I not?"_ Snow returns the pressure on her hand, wanting earnestly to reassure, despite her growing awareness of just how far out her depth she is.

Were it another holding her hand, she might offer a platitude, an empty phrase to ease the silence. But it is not another. It is Regina.

As she continues to watch the other woman, her eyes screwed tight shut, as though to contain her vulnerability within them, the last remnants of her step-mother fall away before her very eyes and her heart aches with a sudden surge of protectiveness.

…All she sees is the friend, the sister that she could have been.

Regina may feel that she has made herself impossibly, pathetically weak. That she has lowered herself.

Snow finally feels like an equal.

She wants to have a bonding moment, to tell Regina the way she wished things might have been.

She wants to tell her that she wished she could have met her mother. Her mother would surely have loved Regina ...Adored her, even.

But now is not the time for expressing such sentiments. That time may never arrive.

"I told you once that I wanted us to be family." Regina's eyes are on her now, wide and soulful and a little too much to bear. Snow turns her head and gazes out over the ocean. "…That's still true, Regina."   _However it happens._ "Now, you need to get some rest." Snow stands and extends her other hand, pretending not to hear the whimper of dread that escapes the other woman.  "I know a thing or two about keeping nightmares away."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse into Regina's nightmare. Enter: Emma, Stage Right.

_The shadows shifted. Footsteps sounded on the floorboards._

_She was hiding. Hiding from her husband. Hiding in the dark._

_She would screw her eyes tight shut. Keeping his presence at bay a moment more._

_A moment of safety, before his rough hand would grasp at her face. Her neck. Her breast. Her-- **Gods!**  
_

_…Always and ever so much pain._

_She would not, could not open her eyes now. She could only grit her teeth._

_Bile._

_Revulsion._

_Fear._

_Blood._

_Blood, but not a seep. A spray._

_…Not her's. The King's._

_Then there was a blinding light. …Her blinding light._

_**. . . "Emma!" . . .** _

Regina flung herself upright into the darkness of the ship's cabin, gasping for air.

She slumped forward as the hands that had cradled her head rubbed the tension from her shoulders, gently easing her back into wakefulness, a low voice soothing her.

"Easy… easy there." She froze.

_Fuck._

That voice didn't belong to Snow White.

She turned slightly, glimpsing the blonde woman that leaned again the wall.

 _Emma_.

Her head had rested in Emma's lap.

But she had fallen asleep in Snow's.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

"Where's Snow?"

"I sent her back to bed. David was whining like a puppy and I couldn't sleep." Regina looked up to the ceiling, away from the Saviour.

"So… you…?"

"Yeah."

She wasn't going to cry.

She wasn't going to cry.

She wasn't going to cry.

"...Thank-you."

"Don't mention it."

"Okay." Those hands were on her shoulders again.

"…You okay?" Regina pulled away, meeting Emma's gaze.

"What?"

"You were having a nightmare… are you alright?" She curved her lips into what she hoped looked like a reassuring smile.

_Fuck._

She felt like she was going to shake out of her own skin.

"It's fine, Em-– I… I haven't slept well in years. It's…" She swallowed. Hard. "…You shouldn't worry."

Emma frowned.

"You… you called for me, Regina."

_Fuck._

"I'm fine." It was all she could do to grit out those two words and they were met with a rueful half-smile.

"I'll pretend like I believe you." Emma shrugged "If you wanted to… I don't know. It's just, I've-– Well …I know nightmares, is all."

That hand was on her shoulder. Again.

"They vary." She blurted out. Her mouth tightened into a thin line. Near forty-some years of silence, and _she_ would be the first living soul she'd breathed a word to. She wanted to close her eyes to escape Emma's gaze, but darkness was where the horror lived.  "Tonight it was my late husband. The King. He would–-" Damn her racing heart. Damn it to hell. She took a moment, but she couldn't bring herself to say the word. "It was not a… happy marriage…" _Fuck_. "It was barely a marriage at all."

Regina couldn't meet Emma's gaze.  Emma couldn't miss the way Regina winced.  It was painfully familiar.  She'd seen it on various foster mothers, those that had periodic altercations with door knobs and medicine cabinets, who would feign away the fact that they weren't physically able to sit down at the breakfast table.

"I get the picture."

Regina felt Emma pull away, and her heart pulled itself in two.

If she'd known right at the start that all it would take to drive the infuriating woman away was a display of emotional vulnerability then she would've…

She would've…

Actually…

 _No_.

…She didn't know how to finish that thought. Because now she'd done it, she didn't know how to feel.

She only knew that even after she'd tried to rid herself of the woman for so long, every night for the last six months, she'd woken reaching for her.

And now that she was actually there, it was too much for her…

Her heart fell and tears burned behind her eyes.

_Emma was just going to go ahead and… and…_

_And pull her legs up onto the bunk?_ _Wait_ _…_ _What?_

Emma stretched herself out and patted the mattress – once, twice – in invitation.

"C'mon, I can scoot over."  

"... _What_?"  Regina's brow was furrowed in confusion, but the other woman simply inclined her head and smiled softly.

"You heard me."  Regina clenched her jaw.

"I don't think _you_ heard _me_ : I'm fine."

"I'm not." The quiet confession was met with stunned silence. Emma rubbed at her eyes with the heel of her hand "…After the day I've had? No. No, I'm not okay. And right now?" she shrugged, "I dunno… you ever get the feeling you just need to… hold onto someone?"

Regina bit her lip and found herself giving a small nod. She'd known that feeling more often than she cared to consider.

…Only she'd had no one to hold onto.

"So just… lay down, alright?" she hesitated, and Emma's eyes implored her, "…Please?"

 _Please_.

One small word, spoken with such a small voice.

Regina finally relented, and laid her head on the proffered shoulder.

She could pretend that she didn't know what Emma was up to. Making it seem as though, that by being held, she was doing the other woman a favour.

Warmth radiated off of the body that was gently pressed against her back, and hot breath caressed the nape of her neck in a soothing rhythm.

She could sense how rigidly Emma was holding herself, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

There had indeed been a time when this situation would have made her highly uncomfortable. Not merely the fact that it was Emma, but for anyone to be so close whilst she was so vulnerable.

_But it was the strangest thing…_

Regina slowly reached out in the darkness, grasping for Emma's hand where it rested on a jean-clad hip, and she pulled it over herself, guiding her arm around her waist.

That was all it took. All the tension she had felt in the other woman dissolved in a moment.

A nose pressed into the crook of her neck, and an arm held her firmly around her middle.  

_...She felt safe._

Her own tension dissolved and a tear trickled across her face.

Emma had returned for her, down in the mines. Emma had stood behind her: feet by her feet, arms extended, their fingers intertwined.

The release that she'd felt at that contact… It had been a dream come true, in the most literal sense. Her head had lolled back, and her had body slumped into Emma's.

It had been selfish, her relief at not having to face the end alone. Selfish. Nothing but selfish.

_…It would have meant leaving Henry an orphan._

Emma's lips had then brushed against the skin of her neck, moving with low whispers of encouragement.

Her heart had burst in her chest.

Her whole world faded to white.

By the time she'd come to, they were both collapsed again the wall of the mine shaft. Regina still firmly ensconced in Emma's arms.

Those same arms tightened around her again, bringing her back to the tiny bunk, those same two lips brushed against her skin with warm, moist breath.

"…You okay?" She turned her head, turned her body to face the other woman. Green eyes met hers, shining in the dim light, and the compassion held therein washed over her.

A lump rose sharply in her throat, and she pressed her face against Emma's.  A thumb wiped at her cheek, smearing a silvery tear across her skin. The lump turned into a sob.

" _N-no_." The arms that held her loosened momentarily.

"…Come here." Long fingers wove themselves into her hair, and her ear was pressed above a beating heart.

The other hand remained hooked at her waist, holding her firm and flush against a lean body. Hot tears soaked into Emma's shirt, and she sniffled slightly.

_"I'm not crying."_

Emma let out a shaky laugh, her own tears soaking into Regina's hair.

_"Me either."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so I took some liberties with the mine scene in the finale, but I'm the author and I can do shit like that, so there.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: What can i say? I like the idea of Snow figuring out Swan Queen. 
> 
> Also, bearing in mind that, at this point in time, Snow doesn't know what a bitch her mom was to Cora.


End file.
